Friday, April 10, 2009

ABCD Ka Diwali

ABCD Ka Diwali

How does an ABCD(American Born Confused Desi) explain to his younger
brother the topic - When and how did Diwali begin? This is how he goes
about it...
So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him.

But,like, his step mom, or somethin', was kind of a bitch, and she
forced her husband to, like, you know, send this cool dude, he was
Ram, to some national forest or reserve or somethin'. Since he was
going, for like, somethin' like more than 10 years or so,he decided to
take his wife and his bro along. You know... so that they could all
chill out together. But dude, the forest was reeeeeeal scary shit,
really man, they had monkeys and devils and shit like that.But this
dude,Ram, kicked their ass with darts, bows and arrows, so it was
fine.But then some bad gansta' boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up
his babe (Sita)and lures her away to his hood. And boy, were our man,
and his bro Lakshman, pissed! And you don't piss this son-of-a-gunz
'coz, he just kicks ass and like, all the gods were with him. So
anyways, you don't mess the gods.So, Ram and his bro get an army of
monkeys. Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys, just go
along with me, OK. So, Ram, Lakhs, and their monkeys whip this
gansta's ass in his own hood. Anyways, by now, their time's up in the
forest and anyways, it gets kinda boring. You know no TVs or malls or
shit like that. So, they decided to hitch back home. His bro and the
wife are back home.

People thought, well, you know, atleast they deserve somethin' nice
and they didn't have any bars and clubs in those days. So they
couldn't take them out for a drink, so the people decided to smoke or
shit. And they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps too. So it was
pretty cooool... you know with all those fireworks really, they had
some local band play along with the fireworks, and you know what,
dude,that was the very first, no kidding, that was the very first
musical-synchronized fireworks. You know, like the <BR>4th of the July
stuff but just more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was
how, like, this festival started. Cool!!! Diwali Rocks Maaaan!

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